Well, we have reached the end of 2012, the world has not ended and predictions attributed to the Mayans were wrong.
Or perhaps the Mayans simply predicted Derren Brown’s Apocalypse show and were out with their dates by a few weeks.
There is always the possibility that the world has actually ended and what we are experiencing is a Matrix-like existence, where what we think is reality has all been created by a gargantuan computer.
For the moment, I’m going to carry on as if nothing has changed, but if I start getting notes telling me to climb out of windows, then I’m going to start asking questions. Then I’ll go on a thrilling adventure when I uncover the truth, which will blow my mind and then be followed by two substandard and unnecessary follow-up adventures.
Anyway, I will now give my personal review of the year that is frequently referred to as 2012.
High point of the year:
I have had some really good gigs this year, which is always a nice feeling. In fact, it has been a record year for punters buying me drinks after good gigs. I think it may have even reached double figures; you would think that I would count such a thing to give an exact figure, but you would be wrong.
But for a specific high point, I will say the final night of Love and Langton’s Dirty Laundry in Edinburgh. The show went very well; we were both on form and then made £70 in our collection from just under 30 people. It was a tiring August, we had to work really hard to get an audience due to our venue location and 11pm time-slot, but I am pleased with how it went as a whole.
Low point of the year:
Getting knocked down by a cyclist who jumped the red light when I was crossing the road. I chipped four of my teeth mildly and two pretty severely, which resulted in me visiting the dentist for the first time in eight years.
Ridiculous adventure of the year:
Going to see The Darkness in Thetford Forest. I severely underestimated the distance from the train station to the venue and ended up walking on a grass verge next to a busy A-road. A van driver then stopped and gave me a lift. I then had to hitchhike back to the train station afterwards. I got back to my house at around 4am and had to get up early to do an Edinburgh preview in Brighton. Rock n roll.
Weird moment of the year:
Performing stand-up at the top of a staircase in a Harvester-like pub in Norfolk, in front of eight people spread out across the place, including a young family with a baby in a pram.
Film of the year:
Avengers Assemble. In second place, Skyfall.
Album of the year:
The Darkness – Hot Cakes. What else could mine be?
My hopes for 2013:
Just to try and improve as much as I can comedically and have a good Edinburgh. Getting paid some of the time would also be nice, but I’m not in this for the money – and that’s probably just as well.
It’s been almost three years to the day and 400-ish gigs since I moved to London to give comedy a proper shot. I am well aware that it is going to take even longer to get anywhere, and I may be delusional, but I feel I’m on the right track.
Away from comedy, I’m looking forward to actually going on holiday for the first time in a while. I’m not entirely sure where it’ll be yet, but rest assured it will be somewhere.
I hope the bugs on this site will all be sorted and if you’re lucky, or unfortunate depending on why you read this, I might well write more regularly.