Your browser (Internet Explorer 6) is out of date. It has known security flaws and may not display all features of this and other websites. Learn how to update your browser.

Entries 19-21: Extended stag do edition

I have survived what has been perhaps my longest weekend without sleep.

In 48 hours I was probably only asleep for seven hours. Also, as a result of not being near a computer with enough time to get anything written I have missed two days, so a shameless trick I pull out whenever I miss a day is that I add the missed days entry words into the next one. So this entry is the equivalent of three entries and will be at least 750 words long. I make these stupid rules, so see nothing wrong in breaking them when it suits me, it’s going to be a relief to reach entry 365 and then be able to cut back slightly.

Anyway, that’s enough of the admin, now it’s onto what I’ve been up to. Saturday saw the stag do of my former uni housemate Clack down in Bournemouth and it was a lot of fun. The day began shortly before 6am when I woke up before my alarm and couldn’t go back to sleep, I left my house at 7.30am – I’d forgotten these hours of the day actually existed, so it’s nice to know that they still do and haven’t disappeared now that I no longer use them. I had to get to get the train Salisbury and arrived shortly before 10am where I was picked up to be taken to the place where we had some activities booked.

As we drove, it started to rain and we realised that it would be a messy weekend in every sense. It was still raining when we got to the venue, where we met up with the others and proceeded to put camouflaged overalls over our clothes to help keep them mostly clean.

Others in the group had waterproof coats on underneath to keep dry. However, the coat I wear in the summer is utterly useless. It has all the looks of an anorak but with none of the practical benefits whatsoever as it is not remotely water-proof. I bought it when I was a reporter and wanted something with large pockets and a hood, but water-proof was further down my criteria list. I should probably get something better, but it’s too late for this particular weekend.

First on our activities was clay pigeon shooting. I’d never been before, but thought after all the years spent playing First Person Shooters then I’d be quite good. It turned out that this prediction was as wide off the mark as my aim and I was utterly awful. I managed to hit one in thirty. The thing I enjoyed the most about clay pigeons was being able to stand in the cabin, dry, doing the scoring while everyone else was actually hitting the targets but getting wet.

Next up was quad biking. I’d not been on a quad bike since I was about seven-years-old during a weekend down in Devon, when as soon as I set off I crashed into the tyre wall. However, 20 years later and I was much better, despite there being a lot of mud and inevitable skidding around I only needed assistance once out of nine laps. I was pleased.

From here it was off down to Bournemouth via a Harvester for lunch. After checking into the hotel we went down the arcade and I was on fire at table football and scored several goals, making some amends for my clay pigeon failure.

Next up on a whim we had a game of Laser Quest. Again, I’d not been for nearly two decades and on the last occasion my print out read ‘led like a lamb to the slaughter’ – I asked a friend’s dad if that was good. I had improved slightly this time and finished 8th out of 10, which I was satisfied with.

Then it was onto the main event: the night out. Dickie had done an excellent job of getting Clack a check-list of challenges to complete; I won’t go into the details of all these objectives as that remains a closely guarded secret for only those who were there; plus my word count is looking healthy so there’s no need. But as you would expect, a lot of alcohol was consumed and we all went to bed around 4am – 22 hours after I’d woken up.

The next day I had to get back to London to meet up with Fatboy, who I am going to be best man for in September. I met up with his fiancée and the bloke who I will be sharing the best man duties with, who bizarrely went to school with two comedians I know. After a short meeting I went back to my house for some food and had about half an hour’s sleep, before heading to work for 7.30pm. I managed to stay awake throughout my six hour shift thanks for energy drinks and got to sleep around 3am. It had been a long weekend indeed but I had now completed it.

Word count: 835

Leave a comment  




Submit comment