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Archive for May 30th, 2021

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First dose

I have now had my first dose of the coronavirus vaccine. And more importantly, I am about three months closer to getting a haircut.

I had my appointment in Cirencester, where I once worked as a newspaper reporter. The jab centre was near where I used to park every day. Unfortunately, all the spaces were taken. I pulled into a public car park, parked up, then looked in my wallet to find that the only coins I had were New Zealand Dollars. It nicely sums up how long it’s been since I used any cash.

I turned around and went back the way I came, in the hope that there would now be a space. And there it was. I headed to the jab centre, looking a lot different to when I left the paper almost exactly 12 years ago. I am now about 10kg heavier, with long hair and a beard, as well as also wearing medical gloves and a face mask to complete the physical transformation.

I knew my old reporter patch so well that I had to ask someone for directions on where exactly I had to go to get my jab.

The whole vaccine process was really well run and all credit goes to the NHS and local services. The nurse I spoke to was working a 12-hour shift. I hope they all get a massive pay rise for everything they’ve done.

I am now part of Team Pfizer. In terms of side-effects of the jab, I haven’t felt many. My jabbed arm was a little sort the next day and it hurt when I listed it above my head. But I’m not sure if the feelings of tiredness and sinus pains are the effects of the jab, or just that I’ve not been sleeping that well lately and have hayfever. In any case, I don’t feel anything out of the ordinary.

I am now a step closer to immunity, a step closer to some sense of normality, and a step closer to finally getting a haircut.

What I don’t know is when my microchip will start operating. I also don’t know whether it’ll be Bill or Melinda Gates who will have custody of me after their divorce settlement.

In comedy news, I now have my second How To Win A Pub Quiz show booked for this year. In October, I will be returning to Swansea. More details will probably be tweeted soon.