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Return of the quiz

Thursday saw my first performance of How To Win A Pub Quiz in 18 months. When I last performed it, I was in Wellington, NZ, and would start off making jokes about the thing called Covid-19 that I’d been hearing about in the news. What’s all that about?

While so much has changed within the past year and a half, there are some things that haven’t changed – namely my material. Admittedly, I have dropped the Covid opener. What also hadn’t changed was my show’s magical ability to sell out venues, provided there’s a cap at 60 people.

Although this isn’t quite the full story. As it was almost as local as physically possible, about half of the audience were people I knew – either school friends or neighbours – and knowing so many people in the room certainly heightened the nerves after such a long break. But the other half of the audience were people I had never met before.

It was a real luxury to do a gig within walking distance of my house, which isn’t something I’d done outside of festivals since my days running that delightful Friday night gig in Walthamstow. There is something joyous about staying in the venue for a couple of hours after the show for a few pints, before stumbling home and not having to worry about potential road closures and diversions on the drive.

But there were some technical issues. When I arrived at the venue, no one could figure out how to get the sound come out of the speakers. The volumes and other levels were controlled by a tablet. Give me a clunky old analogue mixing desk any day of the week, where you can’t alter the settings by the mis-swipe of a finger. Once that mystery was solved, I had to figure out how to fix the microphone that was cutting out every other word. I switched to another cable and changed the mic, it worked better but some problems with sound and acoustics did persist.

The windows on the left of the room were all open to let in some much-needed fresh air and get the germs out. However, the trade-off from this meant that it also caused some sound to escape. As a result, people at the very back of the room found it difficult to hear what I was saying for the first part of the show. Not only this, but I couldn’t hear what they were saying to me from the back of the room. And this is kind of crucial for a show that is so interactive and aims to allow everyone to add something to proceedings.

It was also really hot, to the point where I was sweating profusely from my forehead and that then flowed into my right eyeball. Cue stinging.

Yet despite the sound issues and the heat, people who came along all seemed to enjoy themselves. They even said so when I was within earshot unbeknown to them, which is normally when you would get slagged off. Others also came up to me afterwards to say how much they enjoyed it. Plus the people complaining that they couldn’t hear ended up coming a very close second in the quiz. It’s possible they were just getting in their excuses early. So there is certainly an element of me being too hard on myself.

The problem with performing the show to a particular standard or level is that when it doesn’t quite reach the level you know it can and has done, it always feels slightly disappointing – even though it shouldn’t.

I felt a little rusty, but I settled back into it again. And by the end, it felt like I had never been away. There is definitely still life in the old pub quiz dog yet. Just how much life remains to be seen, but it is a very difficult thing to leave behind.

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